Tuesday, February 22, 2011

New Zealand

Thank you, internet, for the outpouring of concern regarding our relatives down under. Fortunately for us, most of our family is on the North Island or located near the bottom of the South Island which has kept them out of harm's way, thank God.

Like you, the first pictures that we have seen out of New Zealand are awful and the news continues to get worse.

My thoughts are there today.

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Epiphanies and Moving Trucks

Our trip to the southern hemisphere was an epiphany for our family. It helped to clarify so many things for Dallas and me in our marriage, in the kind of parents we wanted to be and in how we desired our future to look. Together, we made a few. decisions.

First, after nearly eight years, I quit my job. I am home schooling my son and plan to do the same with my daughter once she finishes this year. I am not made of the stuff to hold down a corporate career and give my children the education they deserve. At the end of the day when sorting through my priorities, I decided that my kids win. It hasn't always been that way. There were lots of years when I traveled nearly every month, sometimes for ten days or two weeks at a time. My children were left in the care of various nannies. It got so bad that if I called a sitter to stay with them while I had dinner out with friends, Olivia would grab on to my arm, eyes giant saucers of insecurity and make me promise that I wasn't going to China. I made some poor decisions in the name of my career.

Second, we have made the conscious choice to simplify our lifestyle. I've got some pesky high grade dysplasia issues that I can't seem to eradicate completely and which scare the tar out of me because I've already walked the more serious "in situ" path and I'm not especially interested in doing it again. So, I'm on this crappy medicine which makes me feel like a big ball of shit three days of the week. It's not ideal but I'll take this solution over more surgery or radiation.

For now.

My personal belief is that most cancers are preventable for one who has a life in balance. I've spent YEARS consumed by my career at the expense and exclusion of almost everything else. In my head, ambition was good. Workaholism was admirable. Then, I met the love of my life and married him. All of the sudden, working weekends lost its appeal. Being called while on holiday felt intrusive. I am fond of luxury but I am no longer willing to sacrifice everything else to keep up with the Joneses.

Finally, after much discussion, pro/con list-making, head-shaking, number-crunching, what-if-ing, Dallas and I made the decision to move. Again.

To New Zealand.

Shifting house from one state to another was a task. Planning and executing a move from Tulsa to another town nearly 8,500 miles and a whole ocean away makes our interstate relocation look like child's play. Between immigration, logistics, child custody issues, housing in our new country and trying to find a good home for our cat, I'm overwhelmed. However, when I sit still and listen, the steady beat that quietly thumps through all of the change and planning is peace.

Imagine that.

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