DAY FIVE

Pounds lost: 1

Total pounds lost: 6.2


I woke up at the ass crack of dawn this morning after a later bedtime than usual and I feel GREAT.

I have known for several years now, that food can be either medicinal in nature or poisonous. Too often, I have been guilty of indulging to excess, my love of caffeine, alcohol, processed carbohydrates and a ravenous sweet tooth. I somehow thought that by kicking cigarettes four years, two months, 5 days and fifteen hours ago, I had made a huge health leap and didn't really have to pay that much attention to what went into my mouth because, by God, I wasn't going to die of lung cancer.

And then came the weight gain, the gluten intolerance, the near constant issues with dysplasia, the fatigue, the aches and pains, the foggy head, the insomnia, the panic attacks and the hallmarks of future disease in my blood work results.

I am forty four years old. By today's standards, I am young. I am not interested in living the next forty years or so in a sick and diseased body. I don't text and drive. I buy organic. I wear my seatbelt. I don't skydive, bungee jump or run with the bulls in Pamplona. I floss.

So why has it taken me so long to understand that consuming Frankenfood, with its artificial colors, its preservatives, its nitrates and its massive sugar content, is just as careless a behaviour as jumping off a bridge?

I like the way I feel today. I'd like to feel the same way tomorrow and the day after.

You know, my mother has been harping on me for the better part of two years to consume green smoothies and eat more raw food. She sent me books. It's the only negative in a sea of excellent....the fact that I am going to have to ring her up and tell her she was right.

AGAIN.

DAY FOUR

Pounds lost: 3.2 ounces

Total pounds lost: 5.2

I woke up today and it was like the veil had lifted. The brain is functioning at 100%, which is such a relief. I feel sharp and alert. My energy level is right up there. I cannot believe that I haven't had a coffee, diet coke, cheese or chocolate since Sunday.

There is one weird thing, though. My hips are aching like they did when I carried my children. It's nothing that a few Advil won't cure but I'm just curious as to the cause since I know FOR SURE that I'm not pregnant.

Other than that, I am feeling so good that I am even contemplating going back to the gym and getting on the treadmill for twenty minutes of sprints. The kids and I are doing science experiments this afternoon which involve collecting water from a nearby pond. This means that we have to go outside and walk. It's blistering hot. Miserable.

And I can't wait.

There is something to be said for eating your veggies.

DAY THREE

Pounds lost: 2
Total pounds lost: 5

Things are better today. I still woke up with a headache that requires medication but it feels like the film that has covered my brain is starting to lift. I have more energy and I can bear the thought of my workload without wanting to run for the Xanax bottle.

I am still quite bitchy, though, which probably has nothing to do with the reboot and everything to do with my personality.

We still have not had a repairman to the house to fix the air conditioner and I feel like this is unacceptable. I understand that we are experiencing unprecedented temperatures and have been for nearly three weeks. I understand that the repairmen in the area are busy but if it were my tenants, they wouldn't have waited a day, let alone three. Just to be sure I wasn't being unreasonable (finding myself having to check that more often lately), I made two calls to two different repair places that I found in the telephone book. Both said they could have someone out today. So now, my dilemma is how to handle the situation like a rational person and not like the lunatic that I harbor inside just under the facade of good manners. My husband has taught through example, that the better choice is always to be reasonable and accommodating. The cerebral side knows that this is the right path, however, the emotional, angry, we-are-paying-a-ridiculous-amount-of-rent, side is fighting for self control.

I should probably go have a green juice and think about it.

DAY TWO

Pounds lost: 3
(water weight from all the gin I drank this weekend but I'll take it because the beaches of Hawaii are looming and my fat, dimpled ass is...well...FAT AND DIMPLED)

I've had a headache since about 11:00am yesterday that needs medication every 4-6 hours.

Caffeine withdrawal.

I am bitchy.

I just want to crawl in bed and read except that now, I have to wear glasses, which pisses me off to no end. You cannot read with glasses on whilst laying on your side.

The food does taste good, which has been a revelation for me since I'm not really a vegetable girl but I also have to admit that I have fantasized about dark chocolate about five hundred and sixty two times today.

Obviously, I haven't gotten a lot done on the work side of things.

I am having trouble concentrating because I'd really like to just go have a nap. Did I already mention that?

Oh, and the upstairs air conditioner quit working. It's a million degrees outside.

Is this day over yet?

DAY ONE OF REBOOT

It is my third wedding anniversary today and I am happy to say that my husband is still the best thing that has ever happened to me and my children. Since it is our third year together, tradition holds that we exchange gifts of a leather theme and yep, RIGHT THERE, I saw your mind forming a punch line. Dallas did some research and learned that a more modern celebration of one's third anniversary included an official gem. Hence, I woke up this morning to find these.

I love them and I never would have bought them for myself, which makes them that much more special.

What did I get for him?

Well, nothing yet because I am a) a procrastinator of exceptional calibre and b) my head is so damn foggy from lack of caffeine that I am considering just waltzing my arse back to bed instead of finding just the right card and gift for the love of my life. I am aware of how badly I suck but on this vegetarian juicy juice reboot extravaganza, I just can't bring myself to care.

I had no idea how important my morning coffees were until today.

This replaced my morning Joe.


Kale, celery, a few apples, spinach and ginger. It had a bit of a woodsy taste, which took some getting used to but it tasted pretty good.

And let me tell you, it takes an astonishing number of carrots to extract the three cups of juice I needed for a raw soup we ate for lunch.

I know it is only day one and on the whole, it really isn't that awful but at this point, I think I could be persuaded to sell one of my children for a Starbuck's.

Rebooting

I've talked recently about some medical issues that I've had for a while, now, and how I don't seem to be getting the kind of results that I've been told to expect if everything were going according to plan.

Hacks me off.

I'm relatively young and although my earlier years were peppered with behaviour that might not be especially conducive to good health, all of that is behind me now and I'd like to move forward without further bumps in the health road. I've come to accept the fact that I cannot have gluten, cigarettes or unlimited quantities of alcohol and food. I also understand that my reproductive capabilities are coming to an end and that hormonally, things are a crap shoot. Okay. No problem. I am even slowly coming around to embrace the idea that the wrinkles, the sunspots and the gravity-challenged body parts show the character of a life well lived. I get it. I'm aging.

But I'm not willing to be sick.

This weekend, Dallas and I were streaming Netflix (trying to get in as many movies as we can before the price change) and we stumbled upon a documentary by Joe Cross called, "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead". It spoke to both of us.

Within the last two months, my mum called and suggested that I read Dr. Joel Fuhrman's book, "Eat To Live". I did but it didn't resonate with me because I think we need a whole lot more protein and fat from animal sources than he prescribes. Dr. Fuhrman appeared in the documentary, which peaked my interest, but what really hooked me was that the filmmaker took some of the doctor's advice and expanded upon it to include a few of the more important tenets of a Paleo lifestyle. An interesting balance was struck and as a result, the people featured in the film were able to heal themselves, lose weight and improve the quality of their lives. All of the goodness started with a completely vegetarian juice fast for a specific period of time.

I started wondering if maybe I shouldn't give it a try. I mean, what's the harm? You get plenty to eat and apparently, after about four or five days, you really start to feel great. At this point, I'm willing to try anything to get rid of the dysplasia and avoid surgery. ANYTHING.

So, come Monday, I will be on a vegetable juice "Reboot" for fifteen days. I'll let you know how it goes. No caffeine, no dairy and no animal products for fifteen days. Piece of cake. Or should I say piece of kale.

Friends and Fireworks

This past July 4th holiday, Dallas and I were fortunate enough to have been invited to spend the weekend out West with friends. I've lived over forty years on the planet and for some reason, it had never occurred to me that emotionally healthy, well-adjusted and involved people tend to raise emotionally healthy, well-adjusted, secure children. Nice people, nice children.

Imagine that.

"Nice" is such an anemic word. I know this. It doesn't even begin to describe the unselfish and generous nature of our friends but strangely, it's simplicity seems apropos in characterizing complex and interesting people who are choosing to live mostly uncomplicated lives. My friends have got their priorities straight and it shows. We were so impressed with the teenagers and the young adults that we met. They were polite, well spoken, centered, responsible and....happy. I was in awe with how my friends balanced their expectations for their children with the ability to allow them to forge paths of their own. Obviously, they had figured out the magic formula because their kids were a joy to be around.

Besides the lessons in great parenting, Dallas and I got to experience some of the most beautiful scenery that you can imagine. It reminded us of some of the places in and around Queenstown, New Zealand.


The trip was one that Dallas and I had been anticipating for MONTHS and the night before having to fly back home, we were savouring a spectacular view of the night sky, flush with the Milky Way and teeming with stars.

"Top five," Dallas remarked. I had to agree.

We do that. We rate things.

It's a way for our type A personalities to compartmentalize our life together and to note those experiences that change us somehow. This trip was like that.

As I write this, I am sipping on a glass of wine. It is mid afternoon. How naughty, right? Probably, but our holiday weekend served to remind me how crappy I am at savouring the small things. Since we've been home, Dallas and I dessert a few nights a week on dark chocolate and red wine. It's conducive to relaxed conversation and an appreciation of what is really, really good in life. Que syrah, syrah, kids.

In the northwest, the weather is temperate and on the eastern side of the Rockies, the roads are not choked with cars.
Life is slower.


Porcupine races are held. There are wide open spaces dotted with sagebrush, wildflowers and evergreens.
Hummingbirds come to play.

As do deer.

Multiple times over the weekend, Dallas and I asked each other what the HELL we were doing living in the dust bowl among the refineries and in the suffocating heat when all this beauty was just a fingertip away.

See, that's a condition of our existence. Dallas and I have not lived so much as we have survived. We put the blinders on and slogged forward. Priorities got scrambled among the mortgage payments, the careers and the unquenchable thirst for MORE. We allowed ourselves to forget about stars and mountains and the taste of unadulterated water until recently.

Beauty matters. Leisure matters. A not so casual game of cards with friends and laughter and bubbles, matters.

Our trip out west was a gentle reminder, in so many ways, of what Dallas and I value most.

Top five. For sure.

Limbo

As you can probably tell from my lack of posts, it's a busy time in our household.

I am now schooling both children, which has turned out to be more time consuming than I had anticipated and like it was when Dylan first came home, I am appalled at the gaps in Olivia's knowledge. While she is blowing through her math and science work, she struggles badly with a number of language arts concepts in spite of the fact that she is an accomplished, voracious, reader. It serves to remind me how grateful I am that I have the ability to homeschool the kids.

Interestingly, Dylan has talked with me lately about the point of it all. He wonders why in the world he is being made to study biology when he has no intention of entering any career field which requires it. He believes that it is useless information that he won't retain because he has zero interest and frankly, he has a point. Lately, I have been researching the "unschooling" movement pioneered author, John Holt, who believed that children would educate themselves naturally, learning what they needed to learn, without coercion, if they were allowed to pursue their own interests. A lot of what I've read lately makes sense to me but fear finds me on Sunday nights, writing biology lesson plans for the following week. I guess I'll just keep researching...

Work is mental.

Again, in spite of how overwhelming it can be, I am profoundly grateful to be this busy. Business is good. Projects are moving along nicely and we have managed to get our corporate infrastructure in place without much trouble. Captaining my own ship is a completely different animal from being an employee and I'll never look back. While hugely more stressful, I wouldn't trade my status as owner for anything in the world.

The biggest challenge these days is our upcoming move to New Zealand. We're currently interviewing international moving companies and weeding through all the bullshit. The transportation industry is filthy. I understand that everyone has to make a profit and I have NO problem with that. What irks me is the garbage that some of the account representative spout before they realize that both Dallas and I are well versed in logistics. They deliberately throw around terms and acronyms that they know most people won't grasp and use that position of confusion as a profit center. I have listened to more wanks babble on about this upcharge and that fee until I get a break in the diatribe and ask if I can send them a bid sheet. That usually stops them in their tracks and opens the door for a meaningful conversation. I had one guy from New Jersey tell me that I was smarter than the average bear, which for some reason, made me want to club him to death. Anyway, what it all means is that we will have about five different companies traipsing through our house over the next two weeks taking inventory and submitting bids.

We will also be starting the process of divesting ourselves of all of our electronics. Seriously. Everything from the TV's to the refrigerators, the toaster, lamps, steamers, crock pot, etc. have got to be sold. New Zealand works on a 230/240 volts which is double ours. I suppose we could get converters and we may for some things like Dylan's XBox but for everything else, it just makes more sense to sell now and buy new when we get over there. It is amazing how much stuff one accumulates over the years. I've started taking pictures of everything with the intention of listing in Craigslist or on eBay because I'd rather gouge my eyes out than have a garage sale.

Finally, there are all the medical and dental appointments over the next 10 weeks or so. My dysplasia issue continues to be an annoying thorn in my side and it looks like I may have to succumb to the idea of surgery. I cannot express how unhappy I am about that but I've had enough. I just want it fixed. We'll see. I'm going to give the alternate, less invasive, treatment two more weeks to work.

Yeah. So....

Like most of you, we've got a pretty full schedule these days. This is one of those times in life where I'd like a crystal ball so I could peer six months into the future and ease my twitching right eye. I have no doubt that things will be exactly as they should but still, a quick peek would go a long way to quelling the anxiety associated to living a life in limbo.

Please Go Away

Just to add to the general yuck of having a construction site within spitting distance of my house, I arrived home this morning from running a few errands to find that power tools were being charged on my front doorstep. My driveway was partially blocked by a worker's car and our lawn is now littered with empty water bottles and cigarette butts.

Oh, and the port-o-potty is four feet from my daughter's window. Nice.

One guy sees me pull into the driveway and comes over to remove the tools telling me that, "the boy" plugged them in there and that he didn't tell the wayward lad to do so. What an arse. "The boy" ? Really? I said absolutely nothing. I just stared, enjoying his discomfort, as he scrambled to unplug.

I'm so glad we're paying a fortune in rent.