Free

Now that the dust has settled, I can share a bit of what my life has looked like over the past month.

First of all, I left my job which was a huge deal for me. I had been thinking about it for a long time and for a number of reasons but fear of financial destitution kept me firmly in place. It wasn't a bad gig as far as working for a company goes but over the last three years, I found myself dreading Mondays more often than not. Since the bulk of time in any given week is spent trying to earn a living, I figured that I owed it to myself and to my family to try to make it on my own.

So, I formed a company with one of my closest friends.

It's been both terrifying and thrilling. I'm pretty good at what I do which has enabled my clients to make the transition without so much as a hiccup. Those close relationships have also meant that I've heard what my former employer has had to say, most of which is ugly and unpleasant. It doesn't upset me because frankly, it was entirely expected but it reflects poorly on him and that makes me sad.

Second, we watched our eldest son, Dallas's boy, head off to boot camp and let me tell you, THAT was hard. I am a raging liberal. The idea of one of my children in the services was something unfathomable to me until I realized that without the military, the chances of eldest learning a trade, being able to support himself and having access to things like health care and favourable mortgage rates, were next to none. Eldest was one of the many kids who slip through the high school system like ghosts and who graduate without a meaningful plan for the future.

Like a lot of his peers, eldest left school with the ability to play video games, an acceptance of mediocrity and just about nothing else. Thank God for the navy. They will pick up where we failed him. I'm very grateful.

Third, teenage daughter recently experienced a bump in the road but rather than tuck her head in the sand, she has stunned us all by taking the steps necessary to move to the next level in her life. I feel hopeful for the first time in nearly two years. We've extended an invitation to her to come and live with us for the remaining six months that we have in this country. I know that there are some of you shaking your head in disbelief right now but when your kids will allow you to help them help themselves, it is a gift. I am officially holding my breath.

Fourth, I am homeschooling Dylan and loving it. Liv will finish third grade in the public school but she will be coming home too, at least for a year. My head is aflame, I know.

Finally, I've given up gluten. I'm not a celiac but after heaps of research, I've come to the personal conclusion that our bodies were not mean to consume most grains. For nearly a month, Dallas, the kids and I went Paleo (no grains, dairy or legumes). I felt better, lost weight and the nagging ache in my right arse cheek went away. Then last week, we went to Florida and everything went to hell on Saturday night. We had a fabulous meal at Emeril's and I ate the bread. I ate the flash fried oysters. I had CAKE for dessert. It was gastronomical nirvana.

And then for the next three days, I blew up like a balloon. I looked like something that belonged in a Johnny Depp movie. My toes, cankles and knees were so swollen that I looked pregnant. I had wicked cramps, made unpleasant trips to the potty and Sunday night, the sciatic pain in my ass came back. Let me reiterate: I am not a celiac but sadly, my days as a grain eater are over. From now on, I will try to stick to a mostly Paleo diet. Surprisingly, gluten free beer is pretty good and apparently, Whole Foods stocks some gluten free flour so date scones are in back in play. I think we'll manage. If you are interested in checking out the basics, mosey on over to this Paleo website. He also wrote a great book. It might not be your thing but it could cure what ails you. I should probably mention that my most excellent cousin, Rosie, turned me on to this; she of great wit and unflagging research skills.

Okay, so that's it for now. I'm off to China next month, which I said I'd never do again, but now that my name is on the letterhead....

Never say never, right?

New Zealand

Thank you, internet, for the outpouring of concern regarding our relatives down under. Fortunately for us, most of our family is on the North Island or located near the bottom of the South Island which has kept them out of harm's way, thank God.

Like you, the first pictures that we have seen out of New Zealand are awful and the news continues to get worse.

My thoughts are there today.

Epiphanies and Moving Trucks

Our trip to the southern hemisphere was an epiphany for our family. It helped to clarify so many things for Dallas and me in our marriage, in the kind of parents we wanted to be and in how we desired our future to look. Together, we made a few. decisions.

First, after nearly eight years, I quit my job. I am home schooling my son and plan to do the same with my daughter once she finishes this year. I am not made of the stuff to hold down a corporate career and give my children the education they deserve. At the end of the day when sorting through my priorities, I decided that my kids win. It hasn't always been that way. There were lots of years when I traveled nearly every month, sometimes for ten days or two weeks at a time. My children were left in the care of various nannies. It got so bad that if I called a sitter to stay with them while I had dinner out with friends, Olivia would grab on to my arm, eyes giant saucers of insecurity and make me promise that I wasn't going to China. I made some poor decisions in the name of my career.

Second, we have made the conscious choice to simplify our lifestyle. I've got some pesky high grade dysplasia issues that I can't seem to eradicate completely and which scare the tar out of me because I've already walked the more serious "in situ" path and I'm not especially interested in doing it again. So, I'm on this crappy medicine which makes me feel like a big ball of shit three days of the week. It's not ideal but I'll take this solution over more surgery or radiation.

For now.

My personal belief is that most cancers are preventable for one who has a life in balance. I've spent YEARS consumed by my career at the expense and exclusion of almost everything else. In my head, ambition was good. Workaholism was admirable. Then, I met the love of my life and married him. All of the sudden, working weekends lost its appeal. Being called while on holiday felt intrusive. I am fond of luxury but I am no longer willing to sacrifice everything else to keep up with the Joneses.

Finally, after much discussion, pro/con list-making, head-shaking, number-crunching, what-if-ing, Dallas and I made the decision to move. Again.

To New Zealand.

Shifting house from one state to another was a task. Planning and executing a move from Tulsa to another town nearly 8,500 miles and a whole ocean away makes our interstate relocation look like child's play. Between immigration, logistics, child custody issues, housing in our new country and trying to find a good home for our cat, I'm overwhelmed. However, when I sit still and listen, the steady beat that quietly thumps through all of the change and planning is peace.

Imagine that.

Ch ch ch ch CHANGES

Hi there.

I know that I've been abnormally quiet lately. I've received a few emails from the tens of you reading and first, I want to thank you for your concern. Everything is fine. I've got a lot going on right now including a big change for our family that I can't really chat about publicly yet.

Until then, please know that I miss you internet and look forward catching up soon.

Life is a Bowl of Cherries

Our holiday in New Zealand began with tense moments at the Tulsa airport. I am a cursed traveller. My family knows this to be true but we all ignore the bullseye on my backside because if we didn't, we'd never go anywhere.

We got to the airport with plenty of time to spare. I had planned for everything right down to the little quart-sized baggies that each of the five of us withdrew from our backpacks. I had strategically spread out the toiletries that would be needed in Sydney once we reached the hotel on our brief layover there before heading on to Auckland.

We passed through Tulsa security and made our way to a restaurant which was located near our departure gate. We had about an hour before takeoff. As we sat at the table, I fished around in my purse looking for my phone. I was waiting to hear about a deal that didn't get wrapped up before our trip and I promised my customer that I would check in with them in Denver and then again in Los Angeles, when we landed. But there was no phone. NO PHONE!

In an age where business agreements happen via text and voice, I was at a loss. Dallas hopped up and said he'd go check the car for me which was really pushing it since we had taken advantage of a long term parking arrangement that was off site and required a shuttle. We had exactly an hour and sixteen minutes before take off. He called from the car to give me the bad news. It wasn't there. Did I want him to go home and get it? I barely whispered, "yes," because I couldn't work through another solution in my brain. Off he went.

And the minutes ticked by.

He called to tell me that he had my phone and was on his way back to the airport. We were 34 minutes from departure.

Fifteen minutes later, they started boarding our flight. When there was no one left in the waiting room, the kids and I got up. I sent Dylan and Olivia onto the plane. I waited. Then, I approached the gate agent and LIED, telling him that my husband had just run out to the car for his forgotten diabetes medicine and would be right back. I have no idea why I said this except that it seemed so much more reasonable to expect them to hold an entire plane full of cranky holiday passengers for life saving insulin than for an asshole who left her business phone at home.

Turns out, it didn't matter either way. His reply was pretty blunt. He said,
"The only decision you have to make is whether or not you are going to get on that plane and make your flight or wait here for your husband and miss it." It was a horrible decision and in the thirty seconds that I stood in front of him opening and closing my mouth like a fish while my brain chugged away at a solution, my husband showed up.

And thus, my marriage lived to see another happy day because the truth is, I would have boarded that plane and left a note with the gate agent telling Dallas to pay whatever it took to get the next flight out to Los Angeles. He would not have been impressed.

I'm glad he made it, though. We had the time of our lives.


View from the airplane flying into Queenstown (South Island) Queenstown cemetery which wasn't the slightest bit creepy. I can't imagine a better place on this earth to be laid to rest if that's your sort of thing. Many of you might recognize this place. It's Hobbiton from from "Lord of the Rings" which is located just outside of Matamata on the North Island. My irreverant, yet completely lovable father in law. His date scones are a work of art and he generously taught me how to make them. My gorgeous mother in law. My fabulous sister in law who sat with me on my trip to Brazil, reintroduced me to gin and who gave me the best (albeit filthiest) Chrismas gift EVER. I will share more on that in another post. This is Gilly, my brother in law. He was a lovely, gracious host and I'm just thrilled that he's in our lives.
Cherry picking in the grove behind the house on Christmas Eve, 9:30 pm. I will NEVER forget that experience. You haven't lived until you've had the opportunity to eat a sweet, black cherry right off the tree.
The trouble with vacations is that they always end.