Our trip to the southern hemisphere was an epiphany for our family. It helped to clarify so many things for Dallas and me in our marriage, in the kind of parents we wanted to be and in how we desired our future to look. Together, we made a few. decisions.
First, after nearly eight years, I quit my job. I am home schooling my son and plan to do the same with my daughter once she finishes this year. I am not made of the stuff to hold down a corporate career and give my children the education they deserve. At the end of the day when sorting through my priorities, I decided that my kids win. It hasn't always been that way. There were lots of years when I traveled nearly every month, sometimes for ten days or two weeks at a time. My children were left in the care of various nannies. It got so bad that if I called a sitter to stay with them while I had dinner out with friends, Olivia would grab on to my arm, eyes giant saucers of insecurity and make me promise that I wasn't going to China. I made some poor decisions in the name of my career.
Second, we have made the conscious choice to simplify our lifestyle. I've got some pesky high grade dysplasia issues that I can't seem to eradicate completely and which scare the tar out of me because I've already walked the more serious "in situ" path and I'm not especially interested in doing it again. So, I'm on this crappy medicine which makes me feel like a big ball of shit three days of the week. It's not ideal but I'll take this solution over more surgery or radiation.
For now.
My personal belief is that most cancers are preventable for one who has a life in balance. I've spent YEARS consumed by my career at the expense and exclusion of almost everything else. In my head, ambition was good. Workaholism was admirable. Then, I met the love of my life and married him. All of the sudden, working weekends lost its appeal. Being called while on holiday felt intrusive. I am fond of luxury but I am no longer willing to sacrifice everything else to keep up with the Joneses.
Finally, after much discussion, pro/con list-making, head-shaking, number-crunching, what-if-ing, Dallas and I made the decision to move. Again.
To New Zealand.
Shifting house from one state to another was a task. Planning and executing a move from Tulsa to another town nearly 8,500 miles and a whole ocean away makes our interstate relocation look like child's play. Between immigration, logistics, child custody issues, housing in our new country and trying to find a good home for our cat, I'm overwhelmed. However, when I sit still and listen, the steady beat that quietly thumps through all of the change and planning is peace.
Imagine that.
6 comments:
Wow! Good for you. You'll still write, right?
Bravo! When you have written in the past of Dallas' home and family, I pictured you living there someday. Just something in your writing...a wistfulness,a sense of belonging, perhaps. Life is but a dream...and it passes too quickly to not give our kids the best of who we can be. Way to go!!
Life is to be savored as a true adventure...My TCM practitioner told me that, according to Chinese astrology, the world as a whole was in a state of conflict in 2010 and 2011 is all about CHANGE. Gulp. Yep. That's what she told me. No kidding! Change is all around me at the moment. Practically everyone I know is experiencing some sort of major change!
Embrace it sista! Right there with you!! xoxoxo
We had very high winds here the last few days. I was paranoid about roof tiles falling on my head so I didn’t move and stayed inside. I can’t comprehend the courage you need to move to a different country. You’re a brave women Beth. I wish you and your family well. (And thank you for finding time to stop by my blog). :)
Beth- I hope that none of your family or friends were affected by the quake.
Hope your loved ones are safe.
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