Waxed

Earlier this week, I ventured back to the land of professional waxing but this time, my expectations were that it would be easier considering my maiden voyage had already sailed.

No such luck. It hurt. It hurt in places it didn't the first time. And, I didn't even go all the way to Brazil. I probably bailed out somewhere around Nicaragua.

It wasn't a complete disaster, though, as there were some very important learnings.

1. Accidentally missing one or two days of the application of my bioidentical cream allows all hell to break loose.

Okay, warning: too much information is about to be shared (imagine that). Gentlemen, you may want to leave the room for a minute.

My body, without benefit of bioidentical cream, has a powerful need to menstruate every 23 days or so which means I've really only got one sane week in every three. In one of the other two, I'm a cramping, ugly, miserable mess and in the other one, I'm a raging loon. With the cream, I float along blissfully for about 27 days, like NORMAL women and I don't have to curb the impulse to ram into every driver on the road who thinks that he, and his half ton truck with the lift kit and the gun rack, in the fast lane, doing 60 mph, is going to teach everyone else how to drive safely.

2. So when reading the warning in BIG LETTERS about waxing within a few days of onset of menses, I should probably give myself a cushion of at least 10 days because here I am, three days later and DING, DING, DING, it's here. Early. This explains the pain, the raw red skin and the fact that I bled. My esthetician told me to look at the positive side of things in that each of the places where there was bleeding, the hair follicle has been killed dead. I don't know if she's full of crap or not as I haven't had the time to research that little piece of waxing lore however, in this moment, I will choose to believe her because it makes me happy to think that I might be winning the war of the curlies.

3. Since I appear to have an embarrassingly low tolerance for pain, my girl suggested that I medicate with ibuprofen BEFORE my next appointment and use this:

Oh, yes please.


Sold! Could I get a case?