Brother Can You Spare Some Floss?

After four planes, two cars, a train and nearly 36 hours, I am now in my hotel room in Guangzhou, China. I am beyond tired.

I'm usually in China a couple of times a year and for some reason certain truths have been revealed to me on this trip.

First, when it comes to queues, I should never be given the opportunity to choose in which line to stand. I am a lousy line picker. Always. Today, we were entering China from Hong Kong via the train station and I got behind this enormous black man in a white, silky, ankle length shirt who had a fez on his head. He was regal, quiet and respectful but his luggage was covered in airport stickers from Algeria. Apparently, North African countries now give everyone pause. There seemed to be some problem with his passport and I couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy, even though I stood behind him while TEN others in the queue beside me sailed through their customs check. I finally got my face time with MY official and she looked at me, looked at my passport, arched her eyebrows, looked at me, looked back at the passport and chuckled. I wanted to scream, "Yeah, I know my picture looks like Helga, the cleaning woman, with large ankles, from some Eastern European country." But I didn't.

Second, there is something wrong with the way that we are running our airlines in North America. Uh, DUH! Right? I had some upgrades in my account and boosted to first class on my three hour flight from Dallas to LAX. I was hoping to catch a few winks but it wasn't meant to be. No footrest, minimal recline and my blanket had gobs of someone else's hair threaded through it. I declined the offer of a pillow because people DROOL on pillows. I was served water in a real glass (bonus) along with nuts that had been microwaved until they were radioactive (possible carcinogen?) but then, the flight attendant disappeared. And that is considered service. Hmmm...

On my hour and a half flight from Taipei to Hong Kong, I was in business class. There, the flight attendant stowed my backpack, offered me a warm washcloth, presented a menu from which I was to choose a light breakfast. The coffee didn't taste like it came from the McDonald's drive thru and it was served in a china cup. The flight attendants smiled. They collected your tray almost as soon as you'd lain your fork down for the last time. Did I mention that they smiled?

Finally, I forget stuff. When I travel, I either don't remember to pack something vital or I leave a little tidbit behind at the destination. Every time. Without fail. This time, I remembered a belt and my jewelry but I forgot floss and my runners. I've tried packing with a list, preparing the night before, waiting for the morning of and nothing works. I forget stuff. I've left a necklace at my gram's, a jacket at my brother's, my CAR KEYS and planner at my cousin's, dry cleaning in India, a crappy watch in Germany and a wireless mouse, fifty dollar shampoo and numerous books in China. In fact I have purchased, "Love in the Time of Cholera", FOUR times. Today, I still am not in possession of this book and I have yet to finish the bloody thing.

Oh, here's one more thing of note. It's typhoon season here. We're expecting one on Sunday.

Of course.

I've already experienced a typhoon in China so I'm not terribly concerned. I just don't want to have to pack and leave in a hurry because you just never know what I'll leave behind this time.