Cougars Unite

Just before I left for Asia, I received an unexpected package in the mail. The postmark and the distinctive writing told me that it was from my sister-in-law, whom I feel that I have known since the beginning of time.

I wondered what it might be considering my birthday had already passed. Besides, we have this unspoken agreement. No need for gifts. Send money because at our age, any celebrations should be had in the dermatologist's office on the receiving end of a Botox needle.

So, imagine my surprise when I opened my parcel to find this:
It's a CD.

It's a CD filled with fabulous, mostly 80's gems like Gloria Gaynor's, "I Will Survive" and Blondie's, "Call Me."

I was driving when I opened it and nearly wet my pants in rush hour traffic. To say it made my day would be a giant understatement. I drove out of my way, volume cranked, singing at the top of my lungs. All that was missing was a cigarette, blue mascara, leg warmers and a flask of Singapore Slings.

These are the liner notes.
You see, this is a running joke between Leisa and me.

We're cougs.

The loves of our lives are younger men. They aren't much younger but just enough for us to wear their youth like a badge of honour. Both men are excellent fathers. They cook and they clean. They are the men our mothers had always hoped we'd bring home. My GOD we are proud of ourselves and our impeccable, albeit 25 years delayed, taste in men.

Receiving this CD, on a day when I was one conference call shy of being put into the loony bin, just proves my theory that although she sprang forth from another woman's womb, Leisa is most definitely my sister.

Spot Ya Digger!

Adaptation

Funny thing about change. While it's unpredictable and often cloaked in disguise and while we resist it with a head-in-the-sand attitude, it comes.

In spite of us or more accurately, because of us and most especially when you have been asking for it and unconsciously directing energy towards it.

Why is it then, that I seem surprised and freaking terrified at the prospect of allowing it into our lives? Don't I preach that there is always something good that comes out of something initially perceived as bad?

That hurdles are really just bridges in camouflage? I have to remind myself to BREATHE. Exhale. Trust.

I was speaking to a colleague the other day about a project that we have been working on together and I told her to, "Buckle up" because the next year looks like it's going to be a heck of a ride. I was excited but conservative because I understand exactly how hard we are going to have to work to achieve our definition of success. My philosophy is one step in front of the other. Steady.

Last night, just after I shut off the light and as I allowed the peace of the darkness to wash over me, my heart jolted for a second as I acknowledged that I had better have my own seat belt fastened because there is no denying it. It's here. It's happening right now.

Change is here.

What's A Dildo Between Friends?

After twenty-some-odd days away from my household, I am finally back home. It is a trip that I will never forget. Several things of note happened so I'll try in the next couple of days to give you as much detail as I can.

Today, I want to chat about the country-wide ban on social media in China.

Chinese censorship bites. A few years ago, I wasn't able to view any Blogger blogs but I could still access the back end and churn out a few posts. This visit was different. Not only could I not log on to my Blogger account but I couldn't access Facebook or Twitter, either.

This made me mental. Exactly how does one begin a day without the CNN Twitter headlines? How was I supposed to keep track of my son without access to Facebook? Apparently, social media is as threatening as nuclear arms as far as the Chinese government is concerned. It is monitored and moderated and contained. For a country that is advancing at the speed of sound, the continued widespread blocking of "undesirable" websites is sadly and achingly backward. In my little opinion, without debate, the creative process is crippled.

There is irony to be had here, too.

Last year, the Chinese government was barraged with criticism when it was announced that new regulations would require that all future PC's sold in the country would have to come with preloaded software that filtered out pornography and other "vulgar" content from the web. It was explained that this was to "protect" the population. And yet, at the airport in Guangzhou, I noticed something that had never been there before. Anyone, including a child, could step into one of the many souvenir shops and purchase from a HUGE assortment of sex toys. Some of them bordered on the bizarre. All of them were in graphic, high definition packaging which depicted each toy's many and creative uses.

In detail.

Pictorial, siliconed, arsehole-bleached, detail.

Now, nothing much surprises me and I am completely liberal in my sensibilities but I just can't image casually walking up to the counter and having the checkout girl ring up a "Pocket Rocket" along with my gum and soda. How exactly does one say, "vibrator, please" in Cantonese?

I imagine dissent in the form of social media and lechery in the form of pornography could be problematic for the Chinese government and yes, some might argue that censorship is an effective tool in shielding the nation from all that opinion and filth.

(somewhere, George Orwell is screaming)

For goodness sakes, the very least they could have done was offer a little birth control at the point of sale or perhaps a sex education class for the toddler who picked up one of the units and promptly put it in her mouth.

Sadly, I'm not kidding and that was my last memory of China as we boarded our plane and left for Vietnam.