Go Ahead and Call Me A Dinosaur

Online dating has its perks but something is missing. Perhaps it is that intangible, breathless rush that happens when you find yourself physically attracted to the stranger across the room. Maybe it's the natural, easy flirtation that occurs when two people meet by chance. I don't know. It just feels like there is a forced quality to e-dating.

The first date is always the most anxiety-filled. You have already corresponded through email and since profiles are standard procedure, you probably have a pretty solid feel for who the person is (insert maniacal laugh here). Yeah. Sure. The written word lacks the unscripted responses that tend to reveal the essence of somebody's character.

Mother issues? Well, you won't see those in any profile but when a man tells you that his mother was the only one who could iron his shirts correctly, you might want to check the trunk of his car for blood stains.

Then, there is the guy who thinks that the dating sites are really just legal fronts for prostitution operations. This is the man who tries to ply you with alcohol and causes you to feel apprehensive leaving any beverage unattended for fear that he'll slip you a little something. He makes a show of spending gobs of money on dinner and he tells the server, up front, that he is a big tipper. At the end of the evening, he expects the horizontal boogie because in his mind, spending $300 on dinner constitutes an implied agreement. This dude is always a bit shocked when he crashes and burns and as he peels out of the parking lot in his Corvette/Mustang/Lotus/Porsche, you just know that he's saying, "She must be a dyke." Whatever helps you sleep at night, freak.

I found that the pictures that are posted never really capture the person. In fact, I have been surprised once or twice. There is this popular romantic notion that physical attraction should take a back seat to cerebral connection but this is neither realistic nor particularly honest. I understand that positive emotional and intellectual stimulation can intensify physical feelings but no matter how much someone's brain might appeal to me, I need him to register on the shag radar.

Like everything else, dating has evolved with increased technology but I still think that there will be those of us who prefer to meet and fall in love the old fashioned way.