The Perfect Weekend

Now I don't want you to fall off of your seats or anything but the one thing I did not do this weekend was partake of too much moonshine. How mature of me, right?

We had our annual bike rally here this weekend and it was my first time attending. It was absolutely amazing. Streets were closed down to any traffic except bikes and all day long, they paraded up and down the main thoroughfare. Spectators lined the route and every pub was hopping with live music and cheap draught. There were loads of vendors set up under tents and they sold everything from leathers to helmets.

I learned that the passenger on a bike is referred to as "the bitch". You can understand that I had all sorts of issues with the moniker. For instance, it is degrading and oink-like-a-pig chauvinistic. I have no doubt that some sweaty, stinky, jerk with bad teeth, a Buddha belly and stained yellow fingers coined the term. But the t-shirts discussing it had me laughing out loud. My favourites:

"If you can read this, the bitch fell off." This is so bad on so many levels but for some reason, I found it hysterical.

"This bitch is nobody's bitch."

And then there was this little gem:

"This bitch don't ride bitch."

Well alright, then.

Up to this point, my only exposure to motorcycle fashion had been our local Harley shop. Once we got down to the rally, I got a crash course in biker chic.

Fashion statements were plentiful. I have never been a fan of men in sleeveless clothing.....until now. There is something deeply sexy about well-muscled shoulders that have been accentuated with a bit of artwork. Throw in a do-rag, a single hoop earring, a non fussy pair of jeans, riding boots, facial hair and a smidgen of attitude and OH. MY. GOD!

I saw many women in very small tank tops with spaghetti straps and no bra. This only works on girls who either have no boobs or fake ones. For the rest of us, it can go from bad to outright indecent. There was one lady (term loosely used) who had elected to accentuate the downward situation by affixing blinking lights to the only place where lights could possibly be attached. It's a shame that the only thing they lit up was her BELLYBUTTON.

I bought my first pair of leather chaps. I couldn't see myself in the fringe kind but I did splurge for some nifty braid work. I was not able to find a leather jacket that spoke to me so I'll probably end up back at the Harley shop getting spanked with a $500 number. Ah well...

On Sunday, we went out for a long, long ride. It was my maiden voyage on roads with real cars and real trucks! I was terrified. At the stop sign exiting my neighbourhood, I was forced to wait for a break in traffic and my heart was thrashing around inside of my chest like a meth addict in withdrawal. The ride turned out to be fantastic. The leaves are starting to turn and periodically, the wind blew them over the road. Fall has its own special scent and on a bike, everything is magnified. I couldn't get enough.

I just don't think that life gets any better than what I experienced this weekend. Since today is Thanksgiving in Canada, it is no surprise that I woke up this morning counting my blessings.