It Was The Cat

I have a favourite pair of thin beige shorts. They require special nude coloured panties because any other undergarment choice shows through. I packed both for our trip to New Zealand.

Dallas's mum does laundry every day. EVERY DAY. So early in our visit, I threw caution to the wind and wore THE panties. But nobody told me about the cat.

Apparently, this feline figures himself some sort of stealth clothing thief. He roams the neighbourhood pinching apparel off the lines. People on the street have learned to check the porch where this cat resides because his owner routinely drapes the stolen goods over the railing for easy retrieval. One day, Bruce and Anne witnessed the cat dragging Bruce's sweatshirt across the street. Cheeky bastard!

Anyway, the day came to wear the shorts and the panties were nowhere to be found. I spoke with Anne and asked her where she thought they might be. She claimed not to have seen them. I could have sworn that I put them in the laundry bin.

"Do you think the cat took them?" I asked.

"I don't think so," she replied. "I don't recall washing them."

I went back into our bedroom, looked around the bed, under it, in the closet and in all of the dresser drawers. No panties. Then I got to wondering if I had brought them in the first place. Didn't I wear them while I was here? Hmm... couldn't be sure because once you turn forty, those senior moments occur with greater frequency and then there was the jet lag......

Aw, who cares, right? I promptly forgot about the problem......until we got home and I opened up my dresser to see that the panties were still missing. At that point, I just knew that the wretched cat had made off with them. Bastard!

Late last week, Anne text me, "Guess what I just found?"

Ever the smarty girl, I replied, "Did the kitty across the street bring them back?"

Anne's nonchalant reply, "No. Just got round to stripping your bed + there they were. Will return them on our visit"

Oh.dear.god.

My sweet, non-judgmental, tactful, soon to be mum-in-law found my panties tangled in the sheets at the FOOT of the bed that I shared with her boy.

I have NO idea how they got there.

That is one clever cat.