Just Call Me Landlady

A few weeks ago, after replacing carpet, two toilet seats, a tank lid and a ceiling fan and painting, scrubbing base boards, floors and tubs, we finally had the other house ready for a renter. Dallas put a sign up in the front yard, I placed a worthless newspaper ad and we fielded calls for days.

People are queer.

Caller: "Umm...hi..yeah... I'm callin' about the place you got for rent on Sugarland.."

Me: "I do have a place for rent but it's not on Sugarland. It's on Cambridge."

Caller: "No. I'm calling about the one on Sugarland."

Me: "Well, I'm sorry sir. The Sugarland house is not ours."

Caller: "But you said you had a place for rent"

Me: "Yes. On Cambridge."

Caller: "Well...how many bedrooms does it have?"

Me: "Three. Two bath."

Caller: "Your sign says it's a four bedroom."

Me: "Sir, you must have our house confused with another one that you saw. Ours is a three bedroom, two bathroom."

Caller: "Are you sure?"

(Now, how does one respond to that without turning into a snarky cow?)

Me: "Yes. I'm quite sure."

Caller: "Well, that ain't big enough for us", followed by a click.

I couldn't help but send a whisper of thanks out to the universe for sparing us. Personally, I've had enough irrational and crazy to last me a lifetime.

After several calls and a few house showings that left me feeling distinctly misanthropic, I received a voice mail from a young, well-mannered guy. If it pleased me, would I mind meeting him at the property so that he could take a quick look? He hated to bother me on a Sunday afternoon and all but he was under a time constraint and wondered if I might be able to spare him a few moments. He was as southern as a cold mint julep on a hot summer day. I immediately called him back.

I thought it was kind of odd that a single guy would want a three bedroom place when it was just him and a dog. He explained that an apartment was out of the question and smaller houses tended to be located in undesirable neighbourhoods so while our house might be a bit large, it satisfied his other needs. He was polite, had a good job and showed up on time. So we rented to him, of course, and I can't help but think that we are incredibly fortunate.

I remember coming back from honeymoon, walking into the other house and being completely overwhelmed with the enormity of the task of getting it ready to lease. The current state of the housing market has made it impossible to collect enough rent to cover the mortgage, insurance and taxes but we are 70% there and the house is no longer a financial black hole. It's one more check mark on our never ending "To Do List".

I drove by the other day because there's a wee bit of stalker in this slum lord and our boy had nicely mowed and edged the yard.

And for the rest of the day, all was right in my world.