Thursday, February 26, 2009

Do Over

I've often said, "If I had it to do all over again....."

We've all had thoughts like that, especially with the benefit of hindsight and a few decades worth of life lessons but then we feel the pressure to circle back around to say that we wouldn't change a thing because those experiences have made us who we are....yada, yada, yada...

Whatever.

If I could have a do over, believe me, there are things that I would do differently.

Like my fifteenth year of life. The entire thing. It was a horror show.

It began will an ill-advised lift home from a stranger and ended with me packing my belongings into a duffle bag and moving out after a particularly nasty physical confrontation with my sister. Both events were life changing.

And school.

When I was accepted to university, I was twenty one years old and in spite of the fact that I had three plus years after high school to get the crazy out of my system, I was still a complete tool. At the time, the social aspects of my life appealed to me far more than my 8:00 am economics lecture and my energies were appropriated accordingly. I was lazy, unfocused and wholly egocentric. If I had this piece of my life to repeat, I'd stick with those classes that really interested me in spite of their challenge instead of those that were easy and allowed me to be apathetic.

Spouse(s).
Geez, where do I begin? Like most girls growing up, I believed that I would meet Prince Charming, be swept off my feet and ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after. I bought into the Disney fantasy wholeheartedly. I never envisioned that I would ever suffer from Goldilocks Syndrome.

The first husband was too feminine but yielded US permanent residency.
The second husband was too caveman but helped to produce two magnificent children.
The third husband turned out to be just right. (sigh)

The third time is most definitely the charm.

I guess that in reflection, it really hasn't been THAT bad. In spite of the more colourful events, I probably ought to be grateful. Every decision that I made (good, bad and phenomenally stupid) has led me right here, to this point and I'm happy with here. So yes, I'm a walking cliché.

I wouldn't change a thing.

Yada, yada, yada.

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1 comment:

Holly said...

HA HA - yeah, funny - I've been through the same process more times than I can count - thinking how people are idiots for thinking they woudln't change a thing, then reflecting, REALLY reflecting, and realizing that you probably wouldn't change a thing either. So many little twists of fate bring you to where you are - change one, and the whole house of cards probably comes tumbling down.