Annus Horribilus

Just when you think that perhaps, the worst is behind you, something will pop up to let you know that you are but a mere mosquito trying to avoid a zapper.

Back in 1992, after part of her castle burned down and she watched three of her children leave their marriages, Queen Elizabeth II pronounced the year as "annus horribilis". Today, I am feeling her pain.

Yesterday, my husband rang from his office to tell me that the sheriff had called asking him if he would be available to be served with court documents. It didn't come as a big shock since we had been anticipating this for about a month but still, it sucked. We were hoping that the litigant would grab a modicum of common sense and go find a legitimate cross to burn but alas, it was not to be and really, that just fits in with the year that will go down in our history as one of our worst.

In January, our area got hit with a massive ice storm that kept the children out of school for a week and ground local business to a halt. Then, I got a call from one of my clients telling me that we had a problem with a product that was out in widespread distribution. I started purchasing Tums in the quantities that you can only get from a warehouse club.

In February, the month started off with our renter telling us that he was moving out. He was a nice guy. We would miss him. Then, we got into the house and found out that his dog had eaten vast quantities of drywall and trim and dug holes in the backyard big enough to lay someone to rest. It was awful.

In March, Dallas and I were forced after MONTHS of issues, to remove teenage daughter from our home and have her go back to live with her mother. Dallas's relationship with her hasn't fully recovered but that is not necessarily a bad thing since the status quo wasn't acceptable, anyway. For some, life lessons are best learned through a systematic elimination of choices and teenage daughter is one of those people who has opted for a more difficult run of it.

In April, it was revealed to me that my ex husband's daughter, who I had raised as my own, was in a methadone clinic; my son was suspended from school for fighting; we had hurricane force winds in our landlocked town which tore apart the roof of our rental house and in turn, caused major damage on the inside, the IRS sent a notice that rocked our world and we got news that my corporate home office would be moving to Florida. I spent the month in an exhausted, stressed out fog.

May and June were quiet months relatively speaking. We learned that manchild would be moving out of our home and into his own apartment. We were thrilled for him and terrified for him all at the same time. I spent the better part of these two months packing up our home in preparation for the move to Florida and trying to get our contractor over to our rental house to lay down a new roof and fix the interior damage.

In July, we made a trip to Florida to secure housing after months of extensive research. After packing up our house, securing a moving truck after no less than four on site quotes, withdrawing my children from our school district, having my mother purchase a Christmas ticket to Florida, renting out our family home, fighting my ex about the move and winning and making the necessary provisions to have our interests in Arkansas managed, we were given the news that the relocation was put on hold indefinitely. We spent the next several weeks trying to get our heads around the turn of events. We ended the month in Mexico, which was good. Sort of.

In August, Dallas was seriously ill. He had picked up a gut bug in Mexico and it stayed with him for most of the month. At first it was a nuisance and something we thought would pass in a couple of days. Three weeks later, we were pretty concerned. It was awful. We learned that manchild had lost his job, which was upsetting at first but became downright alarming when all 31 days had passed and he was still unemployed. He didn't seem to be in any particular rush and we were alarmed by his complacent attitude. This was also the month where I received a call from one of my sisters telling me her marriage was in serious trouble. Her pain was raw and debilitating and there wasn't a damn thing I could do to make it better. Even today, she is rarely far from my thoughts.

September found us gobsmacked upon learning that manchild had given up his apartment the month before and moved back in with his mother rather than find another job. The lack of communication was all the more distressing since we were paying a quarter of his rent. One step forward only to see him tumble several steps back. It's been distressing.

October was a pinprick of a Botox needle light in the dark.

November, I ripped part of my eyebrows off in a waxing incident that had me looking like I'd had plastic surgery. We received notices from every single credit card we owned announcing unfavourable changes in our agreements. And the icing on the kiss-my-ass cake that was this year: Dallas's truck was mistakenly repossessed in an Arkansas version of the shell game.

So today, we are midway into the month of December and who should appear but the court server and his summons. Par for the course.

There are fifteen days left of this year.

Thank God.

On December 31st, Dallas and I will christen 2009 as Annus Horribius and be grateful that all the rain happened to fall in a single year. We're kind of expecting great things for 2010 because truthfully, we aren't much interested in any more drama.