I Shouldn't Have A Pulse

Apparently, I am dead.

Well, obviously not but according to my basal body temperature, I shouldn't be able to respirate, let alone drag my fat arse out of bed every morning. I guess I should explain.

Whenever I see my mum, I come away with a boat load of new information and books that MUST be read...TODAY! I tease her but truthfully, when I look back to the "aha" moments in my life, she has been the propellant that gently nudged me in more enlightened directions. This time, I was handed a book on hypothyroidism.

The women in my family have all suffered from non-productive thyroids, me included. As a result, we are an exhausted bunch with cold hands and feet, brittle nails, dry skin and filthy, lying bathroom scales. We are all taking a synthetic form of thyroid with decidedly mixed results. We feel somewhat better but we're not 100%. My doctor, who looks all of about thirteen, told me that my sub par health is normal and just part of the aging process.

*blink* *blink*

The last time I checked, I was forty. FORTY. And according to the fashion rags, forty is the new thirty so how the bloody hell is it that my doctor and her perky young boobs could possibly expect me to accept that feeling tired all of the time is NORMAL?!!!!!

Sheesh.

Anyway, Mum chose not to swallow that garbage from her own physician and for the past several years, she has been reading everything she could possibly get her hands on in regard to thyroid disease. Recently, she stumbled upon this book and finally, everything made sense. I finished reading it this week and have begun the search for a doctor who will treat me according to the plan outlined by the author.

In the meantime, the book encourages you to take your temperature in the morning and in the afternoon for several days to establish an average basal body temp. It is the most reliable indication of hypothyroidism. Afternoon temps should hover within a tenth or two around 98.6°F. I'll be taking mine this afternoon but I've never had a temperature higher than 98.2°F so I don't hold out any great hope that it will magically correct itself today even though I've been on thyroid medication for 5 years. Healthy morning readings should be between 97.8°F and 98.2°F. Mine was 95.7°F this morning.

See? I'm nearly a corpse, I tell you. I'm lucky my heart still pumps blood. It's downright HEROIC that I make it into work most days.

Just kidding, of course but I am excited to see what can be accomplished when I'm operating at 100%. Perhaps I won't feel the need for a continuous caffeine supply or a mid afternoon nap. Heck, maybe I'd actually get friendly with my scale....ooohhh...the possibilities are endless.

I'll keep you posted.