A Very Brady Weekend

We had another busy weekend.

Friday, we met Brandon and Erin down in the big city for dinner and again, at several points, I had tears of laughter rolling down my face.

First, my eldest daughter text me asking for some advice in regard to how long she should wait before resuming sexual activity. She was quite matter of fact about the state of her va-jay-jay and included information regarding a lone, rogue, stitch. I marveled at how my daughter and I had landed in this place where we could discuss her bedroom activity but however special that was, thinking about her as a sexual being was as uncomfortable for me as picturing my parents getting their groove on. (Shudder) Anyway, I decided to share this very special realization with Brandon and Erin by handing over my phone so they could read the text messages themselves and see what a fabulous, liberal mum I was.

Brandon didn't get beyond the stitch. He froze, somewhat catatonic, paled to a pasty gray and was unable to speak for several minutes. You just know that the words in the text were forever seared in his brain and he just kept swallowing, staring sightlessly, unable to form words. He shook his head slightly from side to side as if to dislodge whatever image was planted there. Dallas and I were doubled over with laughter. Erin cautioned us that we should probably stop because from her experienced viewpoint, Brandon was thisclose to fainting. We found this hysterical. Brandon is most definitely NOT one of those people on the freeway that slow to get a look at a crash site and this is why we love him.

The second occurrence happened when Dallas decided to share his opinion on the difference between making love and shagging. Brandon had a huge issue with the term, "making love". He snorted, cut Dallas short and sarcastically created a scenario with Barry White, candles, massage oil and other stereotypical aphrodisiac accoutrements. It doesn't look nearly as funny in print but I had wine shooting out my nose and tears running down my face. My abs hurt.

I wish we could bottle up five minutes with Brandon and Erin and give it to all of the miserable people in the world.

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Saturday, Dallas and I CASUALLY began looking at houses. Now internet, before you send me emails full of "oh-my-god-are-you-nuts" advice, remember a couple of things:

1. We've been dating each other for six months and although we had a few bumps at the beginning, we're in this for the long haul.

2. I wear bi-focals. Dallas should. Feel free to translate this as, WE ARE NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER.

3. Commitment to a successful relationship is a choice that we make every day. Could Dallas find someone with better boobs and smaller feet? Absolutely. Could I date someone who remembers to take their shoes off at the front door? Well, sure but I've learned that when so many of my bigger needs (kindness, respect, laughter)are being met, the small stuff becomes pretty insignificant. I believe the ocean is teeming with fish and that when we are fortunate enough to find one that we don't want to throw back, we ought to say thank you.

4. I love him. He loves me.

5. Dallas has drawers, closet space and SLIPPERS at my house.

6. "Our" has replaced "yours" and "mine" without either of us giving it much thought.

7. We just can't seem to get this damn song out of our heads...