Wicked Stepmother

I am not sure that I am going to survive the step-parent thing. My patience has probably reached the limit and even though there are small victories, as Dallas reminds me, I am tired of repeating myself to two young adults. They are not stupid and believe me, we aren't asking that much of them.

Manchild really isn't much of a problem except for the fact that he treats our home like a hotel with Dallas and I as the resident chambermaids. He works nearly full time hours and manages to get most of his school work completed. He is thinking about his future and trying to make good decisions about what his next steps will be when he graduates this spring. He is easily influenced, though, which makes him vulnerable to suggestions that may not be in his best interest. We are encouraging him to enlist in the Navy. If he signs that document, he will be forced to follow through with his commitments; he will get post secondary education; he will have the opportunity to expand his horizons and he will get paid through the whole thing. To us, the Navy represents his brightest chance at making a smooth transition into adulthood.

Teenage daughter is a whole different ballgame. With her, we take two steps forward and one step back. Her mother has been in town since Thanksgiving and predictably, there has been a shift in attitude. The few chores she has are not well done. She blatantly disregards simple household rules and "the truth" has become an interpretive concept. I have avoided yet another conversation about food in the bedrooms or dishes in the sink or nearly 26,000 text messages in a single month because I just can't bear to hear the excuses. Even worse, is to be met with an "I don't know" shrug, a subtle smirk and silence as if there was nothing between the ears except a heap of pink cotton candy. It's exhausting.

I really struggle with the whole situation because basically, she is an uncomplicated kid with a passive aggressive bent. I am often reminded that things could be so much worse. She could be a drinker or a junkie or climbing our the window in the middle of the night. But is that really what parenting is about? In dealing with the "I deserve" generation, are we to ignore minor, yet undesirable behaviour because they aren't sticking a needle in their veins? Has the bar really tumbled that low? As parents, I don't understand why our approach moved from one of constructive expectation to one of apology.

The world is not going to fall off its axis because teenage daughter hides half consumed sodas in her dresser drawers or fails to turn in math homework but as I watch her squander her future opportunities and turn a deaf ear to authority, I can't help but wonder if she'll get the message before it's too late.