Friday, October 23, 2009

Friday Smackdown: Inagural Edition

The weekend is here and I am determined to savour every second of it. In order to do so, I feel it necessary to unburden myself of a few things that are stuck in my craw. This way, I can plow headlong into weekend with a fresh attitude and a peaceful demeanor.

1. Balloon boy fever: Lock the father up with Nurse Ratched and throw away the bloody key. Please, please get this story off the evening news. I just don't care anymore.

2. Sarah Palin as a presidential hopeful for 2012: Really? REALLY? Aren't her 15 minutes of fame up yet?

3. My ex husband: Worst father on the planet. One redeeming quality is that he mostly pays his child support. He is woefully inadequate in every other way. Dallas and I appreciate our time alone but I now question if I am doing the right thing by allowing my children weekend visitation with their father. My son expressed yesterday that he no longer wishes to go over to his dad's house but feels that he would be a crappy brother if he let Olivia fend for herself. I had no words. It's just all kinds of yuck.

4. Rude People We Buy Stuff From: You know as consumers, we have plenty of shopping choices. Being on the receiving end of a churlish clerk or flight attendant or office administrator is never a pleasant experience but during rough economic times, when people are hyper discriminating with their dollars, poor service is stunningly ignorant. I'm talking to YOU Starbucks and YOU optometrist and YOU Sam's Club cashier.

5. I am not crazy. I can still smell the cat pee in the office at home. That is all.

6. Exclamation Marks: They are to be used sparingly. Twittering about having cereal for breakfast, which is beyond mundane, is made all the worse by the excessive use of exclamation marks. They are distracting.
STOP IT!!!!!
See, that is how they are supposed to be employed, Juan Pablo.

7. The ethically bankrupt: You Shifty, cheating, disloyal, greedy wanks. How do you sleep at night?

Whew, I think that's it for today. I feel heaps better. I think the Friday Smackdown might become a weekly thing because God knows, the world is full of stupid and internet, you are most definitely cheaper than a shrink.

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Number 7 rocks xxx

Holly said...

Yeah, #7 is the best. I know people I have no respect for what-so-ever, and they have the gall to think I should, when they have zero self-respect to begin with. They can take their morally and ethically repugnant damn selves somewhere else.