It's Not A Diet Damnit

Remember how I said that I would NEVER diet again? Okay, I lied. Sort of.

It's not that I'm a serial diet diva or the poster child for body dysmorphic disorder but I have been leaner and fitter in the not so distant past and I liked how I felt then.

Recently, I had a colleague turn me on to a new book (yes, another new book) and the diet plan detailed within its pages resonated with me. Now, I'm not talking diet as in the filthy, four letter word involving prolonged calorie restriction and weirdisms like colonics. No, I promise you, I am DONE with that shit (no pun intended). I am referring to a lifestyle as in, "Sally had a diet rich in fiber".

I have struggled with my weight since the beginning of time and my relationship with food has been largely dysfunctional.

There is the story my mother tells about the time we were at our cottage in New Brunswick. For some reason, I slipped the notice of those aunts and uncles who were charged with babysitting me while my mum gave birth to my sister. All of the sudden, one of them looks out the back and sees me running on my chubby two year old legs towards the cliffs that precipitated a twenty foot or so drop to the beach below. They panicked, calling my name and running after me but I was too far ahead to be caught. Then one of my aunties used the "c" word.

"Beth," she called, "Would you like a candy?" As the story goes, I stopped in my tracks, made an about face and ran back to them. And sadly, my mentality hasn't changed much in the forty odd years since then.

For me, food is so much more than just sustenance. It is the memory of holiday dinners with my extended family. It is molasses cookies and blueberry pie in my grammy's kitchen where I felt safe and unconditionally loved. Food is medication, which I know is not healthy. Me and Oprah. Two fat peas in a pod.

The new book is called, "Cheat To Lose", which sounded good to me before I had even cracked a page. Basically, it details a plan for carb cycling which has long been used by professional athletes to increase fitness while reducing body fat. Of course there is exercise. Of course there is portion control. Blah, blah, blah. What made my ears perk up was the incorporation of a day where I can eat whatever I please. In fact, the author postulates that it is absolutely critical to cheat once a week in order to overcome our body's biological need to store fat. This is a lifestyle I can embrace, people. Consensual cheating. HELLOOO....

This morning, I was nine pounds less than I was last Tuesday. I know it is mostly water but I don't care. I feel encouraged. And under control. I'm even looking forward to going to the gym after work.

Hell hath frozen over.