It Ain't Your Mama's Dating Experience

When exactly do two people move from the generic term, "dating" to something more substantial? What the hell is dating?

I have this apparently antiquated notion of dating as something Richie, Potsy and Ralph did. You know what I 'm talking about. Week after week they saw several different girls and had these apple pie adventures at the drive in. It was all very innocent. There was hand holding and some kissing but nobody ever talked about a commitment. When one of them really, really liked a girl, he gave her his class ring or his letterman sweater and voilà, they were going steady.

Fast forward to today. Everyone uses the term dating to describe everything from a one night hook up to a serious relationship. One of the women at work has been seeing the same man exclusively for over a year. She says they're dating. Well...

I guess I'm dating, too. And surprisingly, I like it this way. I will admit that the course of this relationship doesn't fall within my normal pattern. In the past, I have allowed myself to be swept up in the promise of what could be rather than what was. With Dallas, our lives have dictated that we take things slowly. Both of us are single parents. We both have demanding jobs. We have very full lives steeped with obligations exclusive of our relationship. Yet somehow, we have managed in the last week and a half to make room for "us". And I'm grateful that after four months, we finally have landed here. There is commitment that doesn't need to be discussed or labeled. We have made plans that are better than a month in the future but I don't find myself needing to put my head between my legs to stave off hyperventilation. The unspoken rule is one day at a time.

Last night Dallas said, "Let's see what develops naturally" in reference to something unrelated to the status of our relationship. After he left, I realized that as a couple, we are doing just that and so far, I don't feel the need to run away.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find some salt and some wood.