A Tale of Two Girls

Oh God!

It hurts!

Remember my little workout on Saturday? Oh yeah. There is nothing in the world like a great workout to make you feel every last shooter, cigarette and all nighter that you've ever had in your entire life. I'm dying. But it's a good pain and after I pick the kids up from school today, I fully intend to drag my forty year old ass back to the gym.

(bikinibikinibikinibikinibikini)

One thing I forgot to mention yesterday was that I spent part of the time at the mall trying to find a new holster or two for the girls. TOTALLY DEMORALIZING. I am not ready for Victoria's Very Sexy just yet. I have lost a pant size but the girls seem to be content to settle in for the winter. They're not interested in downsizing from a house into a condo and thus, I have become a letter "P". While this may be appealing to boob men, can you understand how difficult it is to buy a dress or a two piece outfit? The bottom is one size and the top is a couple of sizes larger. So fit the top and lose every curve from the waist down or fit the bottom and look like a sausage in a too-tight casing on top. In a dress if the ladies are comfortable, I could have a three ring circus happening in the tent below and nobody would be the wiser.

I have watched the occasional episode of Dr. 90210 and there is no way that a reduction is in my future. EVER. So, today I will focus on chest exercises in valiant but largely useless effort to get the girls to conform.