Franken-elbow

I'm sorry to interrupt the NYC series with this completely narcissistic update on my elbow. Earlier in the week, after nearly knocking one of my children out with the blasted cast (NOT on purpose ), I called Dr. Sexy's office and talked to sardonic Jim.

I'm not sure what it is that Jim does but when I need an appointment, Jim's the man. He gets on the phone and I tell him that I have this event to attend on Saturday night and ugly white cast is not going to go well with my outfit. I beg him to fit me into Dr. Sexy's schedule somewhere this week. I also expressed to him that I knew that I was being a colossal pain and I extended my sincerest apologies. Then, I held my breath.

Jim (with delicious sarcasm): What is it? Your prom?

Me: (laughter)

Jim: Can't you just put a black nylon or sock over it and call it a day?

Me: (silence...brain scrambling for appropriate answer but alas...) Umm, no. I am NOT Scarlett O'Hara and I don't know how to sew the drapes into a formal gown.

Jim's turn to laugh. He tells me to hang on while he goes to consult with Dr. Sexy. After several minutes, he comes back chuckling and tells me that the doc will be happy to work me in this week at 2:45pm on Thursday.

Crap.

The children get out of school at 3:00pm and I am in a carpool. It is my duty to pick them up every day.

Me (in best subservient, I-know-I'm-an-idiot, church mouse voice): Do you have anything earlier or later?

Jim: Are you kidding me?

Me (panic): Well YES! Yes I am. See you Thursday. I'll be there with bells on.

GAH!

Yesterday morning was just one of those days. My son was sick and my daughter had chosen to play hide and seek with the tape I use to secure the garbage bag over the cast. As you know, it took me forever to have a bloody shower so, no time to waste, I tucked the garbage bag around the cast, pulled the handles and tied it off as best I could. When I got out of the shower, I removed the bag and water flowed out of the bottom of my cast. Uh oh.

So I cut it off.

And it felt goooood. Sooo gooood. And then I had a good look at my arm.



That black nylon is looking pretty good right about now.

I made it to my appointment very early and the receptionist was able to change my time with the 3:15pm slot since the other patient also arrived early. I raced to the school to get the kids and brought all of them (including carpoolers) back to the doctor's office. Oh don't even ask! The only time they were quiet was when my stitches were removed.

So the cast is gone, the stitches out and Dr. Sexy said I could play golf in two weeks. He warned that it would feel really weird and probably a bit painful but who cares? That nerve will never be compressed again.