Online Dating: The New Drug

I am kicking myself HARD for not getting into the online dating scene earlier. I'm even more hacked off that I didn't think up the whole concept myself. Can you imagine? I'd be Trump without the bad comb over.

There were a few things that surprised me. First of all, I was floored at the sheer number of people registered with these services. The dating company I used made you complete a personality quiz that rivaled the phone book in its volume and however skeptical I may have been at the start, there was no denying that the profile that was created based upon my answers nailed me. Every single neurotic trait that I possess was clearly identified. The day that I signed up, within a radius of 100 miles, I had 28 men whose personalities were flagged as being compatible with my own. Keep in mind that my parameters were quite narrow, too. I had specific age, smoking and religious preferences and still, twenty eight people out there were looking for someone like me. Two of them happened to live in the same town which is astonishing considering my city boasts about 33,000 people. Three days later, I received another ten suitors.

Next, I was surprised that so many twenty somethings were trying it out, too. What has happened to the bar scene? Some of my deepest, darkest secrets fondest memories of university involved pool tables, cheap draught and loud music. What is wrong with kids these days?

Finally, I was kind of amused with how many different dating sites are out there. Even Dr. Phil is dishing advice on one. And then there are the umm...alternative sites. It doesn't matter if you want a relationship, extramarital affair, swinging good evening, twink or no strings attached company for one night..there is a dating dot com for that. I don't think of myself as especially naive but I surfed some sites that made me blush. Nothing says confident like snapping a picture of your assets and posting them for the world wide web to view.

And then it occurs to me. It's no wonder the world is in its current state. With most everyone being either a busy single or part of a married couple, nobody is getting laid with any frequency. Forget Prozac and psychotherapy, make everyone date.