The last couple of days have been so strange.
Besides the fabulous drug haze, Dallas and I reluctantly admitted that our timing was all wrong and thus, we have stepped things down to friends but not in that fake, "let's do lunch" way. I am very fond of him and I know he feels the same tenderness for me.
Sometimes, raw emotional pain will drive a person to seek out intimacy in an effort to surface, to take in a lungful of air, to heal. Unfortunately, it is that same pain that inhibits true communion because it acts like a gatekeeper, guarding against naked vulnerability. It takes the first responsive ripples of genuine affection and chokes that energy with fear, doubt and apathy. It is heartbreaking to witness but the journey is intensely personal....and solitary.
There is nothing yucky or tsk-worthy in this ending. I consider myself to be very fortunate. My first venture back into the Mars/Venus party was with a sweet, kind and respectful man who redefines nice and makes me believe that perhaps all the good ones aren't taken. He might not be thrilled with the idea of me dating other people but Harley would be genuinely happy for me if I found love. And this is why I'm honoured to be his friend
2 comments:
Aw. Well, he does, indeed, sound like a good friend to have, and I find that it's rarer every day that I meet someone I feel that way about. Either I'm more crotchety already (can that happen already while I still have control of my bladder?) or there just are a lot of not nice people I meet.
well good for you!! cause you'll definitely meet your share of asses on this journey :)
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