New York: The Final Chapter

Cafe Wha? was a blast and we stayed out very late so the next morning, (at the bloody crack of dawn), we looked like three sacks of crap when we met Sean at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Actually my cousins looked pretty good. I looked like my father and I will NEVER wear orange again.
Cindi was perturbed with what she referred to as the "hair show". Being that Jennie and I actually possessed follicles that required more work than a towel, we could understand her frustration at having to wait on us but at the end of the day, we politely told her to go pound sand. Let's face it. She had people looking for an autograph the night before and I'd have bet my last nickel that one or two of the groupies at Cafe Wha? rushed right over to their stylists to have their hair shorn the same way. Jennie and I have our grandmother's ass. We needed hair.

But I digress...

The Met was fabulous and Sean had tried to arrange a private tour. Unfortunately, his friend at the museum had another engagement but she left Sean with our admission buttons. We weaved through a fantastic stained glass exhibit which conveniently ended at the cafe where one could enjoy great, aromatic wafts of the worst coffee I've ever consumed. We then moved on to an Egyptian show which included hieroglyphics, mummies and sarcophagi (sarcophaguses for those who say fishes, not fish) or you could just say esophagus and be the biggest loser on the planet.
The final exhibit was Medieval articles of warfare. I tried very, very hard to appear enthusiastic but I would rather have had Sean take one of the gazillion swords or daggers (each with its own long and detailed history) and PUT MY EYES OUT. There is just so much chain mail and war headdresses that a person can take.

After the museum, we said good bye to Sean and went back to Times Square to queue up for the cheap Broadway tickets. We ended up securing three really good seats for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels that night. I wasn't terribly enthused because my heart had been set on Wicked but we were not disappointed. Luci Arnez was in the cast, which was kind of neat but the two lead actors were spectacular and totally irreverent. I had forgotten that Broadway was a little like HBO (no censors) only in 3D. We had a riot.

The next day we were leaving. Cindi and I had later flights in the afternoon. Poor Jen, being at the mercy of Air Canada Aeroplan miles was forced to leave around lunchtime. We decided to have breakfast in Central Park at Tavern on the Green. Jennifer thought that this might be her best chance to run into Regis Philbin since he apparently eats there frequently. Well, we didn't see a single celebrity because they hole them up in private rooms so that crazy people like us don't harass them for autographs. But we did get to see the outdoor garden and it was magnificent (lousy photography, though).
Back at the hotel, we helped Jennifer to pack her things and the conversation centered on the fact that we had not seen a single celebrity. I couldn't understand it. I've had a spotting on every single trip to New York. There have been easy ones like Sarah Jessica filming in Central Park but there has also been Tom Cruise outside of Barney's, Charo and her lips (time has not been especially kind) and this supermodel whose name I can never remember in the hotel elevator at the W hotel in Times Square. But alas, this time we had nothing- not even a "C" lister who ended up on a reality show losing weight.

We took Jennifer's bags down and waited on the street with her while the doorman hailed her a cab. There was this nondescript guy with a backpack and a ballcap waiting as well. The doorman leaned over an whispered that the dude was Spiderman.

"Tobey Maguire?"

"The very same. He just got married and was here wrapping up the latest Spiderman movie." And so it was. He turned and we got a clear view of his face. And all this time, he had been staying at the same hotel. Spidey in the flesh. All three of us have young boys who were going to be completely impressed with this information.

"Married? I thought he was gay." Oops. Got him confused with Elijah Wood.

Well, it didn't matter to Cindi and Jennifer. Both of them stared, wide-eyed and watched his every move. I'm not sure they blinked. Tobey's car came (we're on a first name basis) and just like that, Spidey was gone.

Jenny left a few minutes later with much hugging and a few tears. Cins and I then took off to Filene's Basement where we spent an obscene amount of money and had to rush back to the hotel to pack, check out and get to the airport.

So that was New York. There is much, much more to do and we have vowed to return. I have asked that we plan it around Jimmy Choo's annual sale. Jennifer doesn't care when we go as long as we get tickets to Regis and Kelly. Cindi thought that maybe we should call our cousin Michael and get him tohelp us plan our next trip.

We loved New York.