Midlife Crisis

I was speaking with my friend the other night and she expressed that perhaps the recent lifestyle changes could be attributed to my very own midlife crisis.

Huh? Are you kidding me? Midlife crisis is for people in their forties.

*blink*, *blink*

Hmmm... maybe she is onto something.

Yes, I have recently taken up golf. Yes, I have spent an obscene amount of money on equipment but can you really equate my Big Bertha's with ..say..um..a shiny, new, Corvette? I'm not so sure. Of course, the (sexist) argument could be made that sweet golf clubs draw men like mosquitoes to a zapper.

Yes, I got divorced but I didn't get out of my marriage to jump into a relationship with some hot, young boy toy . I left because I spent the better part of each day trying to convince myself that killing my ex husband in his sleep was not the answer. I was intimate with that just-under-the-surface, bubbling, festering, barely controlled rage.

Yes, I have let my hair grow long because it makes me feel more feminine, not younger. You see, as I have aged, the resemblance to my father has become more pronounced and short hair merely accentuated the issue. Besides, that whole pixie look is for young, perky women who don't have to step into their bras in the morning.

Yes, I have purchased a few (thousand) anti-aging products. I could pack a week's worth of clothes in the bags under my eyes. I had even budgeted for Botox until I was introduced to Arbonne. Soon though, even great skin care products will not be able to stop my eyes from falling into my head (like spitting into a snowbank...thanks Norma) and I am determined not to go gently through middle age. I'm not talking Joan Rivers or anything quite so scary but plastic surgery is most definitely in my future. I have a laundry list...

And finally, I suppose I am much more serious about my health. The reality of this is while you still feel great, the body starts to betray you in little ways. The common cold, if accompanied by cough, can be a challenge for any woman who has had more than one child. Carrying your kids up the stairs can make your knees sing. Having one too many cocktails now wipes out the entire next day. This isn't mid life crises, it's the epiphany that happens when you realize that you have to do everything in your power to maintain good health because your quality of life depends upon it.

My mum said that your forties are a great time...even better than your thirties because you still look good, have money, some life experience and you are finally comfortable in your own skin.

Yeah, I like that.

So, if my lifestyle has changed, it is because my perspective has shifted. and if this is a midlife crisis, well I just want to welcome it with open arms. Oh yes, and just because I divorced for all of the right reasons doesn't mean that I'm not open to a little May-December thing. Isn't that what being a coug is all about?