Cable? I Don't Need Your Stinkin' Cable!

A few months ago, I made a phone call to Cox Cable and asked them why it was that I still had an unburied cable line sticking up out of my yard like an orange banner. It had been there for months and every day that I pulled into the driveway, I felt a little bit like the neighbour with the plastic pink flamingos or the car on cement blocks or the beat up couch on the front porch.

I had called the cable company no less than eight times in a four month period about this problem. I didn't even get a call back. Finally, I had one jackass customer service agent tell me that he didn't think it was unreasonable to wait several months for service. That just sent me over the edge. I wanted to tell him to take his cable television and shove it up his impersonal, geek arse but since the Patriot Act has a loose, poorly articulated definition of terrorist threats, I felt I ran the risk of ending up in the pokey. So, I formulated a plan.

I had received three flyers in the mail that week which nattered on about the virtues of satellite television. My friends had just gotten DISH installed at their place and loved it! Driving through my neighborhood, every third house had satellite. Was I that far behind the times?!! My brother couldn't believe that I owned a hi-def TV and still received an analog feed. (huh?) So, I made the call and had a very patient person walk me through the whole thing. Blah, blah, blah, how many televisions in the home, blah, blah, blah, receivers, blah, blah, FREE DVR, blah, blah, blah. Seriously, it was easy and I had been coveting a DVR thingy for a long time. The installers were out to my house TWO DAYS AFTER I MADE THE CALL!!!!! They had me hooked up just in time to view the Sopranos finale in high definition.

And then I called Cox.

This time, I got this really great woman on the phone who totally understood my frustration. We chatted, I complained, she sympathized. I hated to do it but I told her to cancel my account. She asked politely if there was anything that they could do and I said no. She got it. We ended the call on very friendly terms.

The very next morning, Cox had someone at my house to turn off the cable. He left the unburied line in all of its orange glory.