Inappropriate Self-Adjustment

I am sure that at one point or another all of us have had the need to scratch or move various anatomical parts to make ourselves more comfortable. I understand inopportune itch. I have also had my head snap up and my eyes fill with moisture because one stray follicle found its way UNDER the elastic of my undergarments. However, I have suffered silently until I could remove myself to the ladies' bathroom to take care of business.

Unfortunately, this is not the preferred course of action for some. I hate to say it because I sound completely sexist but the "some" to which I refer are generally men.

Do you realize that every time you reach down there to adjust the equipment, WE CAN SEE YOU! And, we don't know where to look since you insist on doing this unconscious thing while you are carrying on a conversation. It takes every bit of willpower not to follow your hand because if we did we would end up staring at your package..
and you would know we were staring..
and then we would share this uncomfortable moment where your mind would involuntarily flash to the thought of us having sex..
and we would know that you were thinking this..
and then one or both of us would lose our train of thought..
and then you would go back to your office or whatever and say to yourself, "She was looking at my package"..
and then you would wonder how long she had thought of you that way because YOU ARE COMPLETELY UNAWARE THAT YOU GAVE HARVEY A TUG!!!

So please, if the tightie whities aren't working for you, perhaps you and the boys might be more comfortable in boxers or heck, throw caution to the wind and let the troops go commando.

And by the way, did you realize that you are in a vehicle with windows? We can see you. Your window tint is not that dark. When you stick your finger up your nose and stroke your brain, that is considered a pick and not a scratch. A pick requires a tissue and privacy. Sticking your arm out the car window pretending to feel the air while you are rolling that booger is not fooling anyone.