Unsolicited advice to my pregnant friend

The girl who does my hair is pregnant. She is one of those sweet, adorable pregnants with normal ankles and glowing skin. She is young and hopeful and the spelling of her new daughter's name will baffle many.

She had been trying for a couple of years to conceive without any luck and finally had to turn to the medical community for help. Still, it wasn't happening. The doctors told her not to panic. It might take some time. Then, she got pregnant only to suffer a miscarriage. Several more months went by.

This past Christmas, her mum died unexpectedly of carbon monoxide poisoning. It was terrible. She was very close to her mum. After the funeral and still raw with grief, she found out she was pregnant and this one stuck. The timing has obviously sparked many existential conversations.

So now, every six weeks, I get to see my friend and her ever expanding belly. As we get closer to her October due date, I feel a strange maternal compulsion to take her aside and tell her everything that I have learned over the last ten years as a parent. At the very least, I want to tell her all those things surrounding the "day" that she might not know.

-Going into labour is not like being struck by lightning. Sometimes, the signs may not be clear. You may go to the hospital several times as the due date gets close thinking that those contractions are the real deal. Don't be embarrassed. They feel real and by the end, you want so badly to see your feet again that even though they are irregular and 10 minutes apart, you are having this baby TONIGHT!

-Epidural is your friend. Trust me.

-You may be worried that baby won't be the only thing coming out of you that day. Let me tell you..by the time you are in active labour, you won't care if you are laying eggs.

-Take all of the stuff from your hospital room. Don't be shy. That nasal aspirator..take it. Diapers? Take them. Even if you plan to breastfeed, take the formula. That ugly, bunny covered insulated bag? Take it. I am still using mine as a lunch sack for work.

-Stay your full two days in the hospital. You are going to want to take baby home and be with your husband but stay. These are the last two days that you will sleep well for the rest of your life.

-Record everything. Take pictures, film, write...whatever. Just record every detail. When she gets older, she will ask you specifics and even though you think that you will never forget this time, you will. I promise.

-Baby books are guilt factories. You start off doing really well because you are so excited and baby's birth is the most monumental event you've ever experienced. Then, time passes and you will open up that book and realize that you did not record tooth #6 coming in. So, you will make up dates and stuff to fill in the blanks. We all do this.

I guess the most important thing to share is how this new creature will teach you about love. Of course we have all experienced love but when you have a child, love takes on a whole new meaning. You are filled, almost bursting with this new emotion. I used to hear mothers say that they would gladly give up their life if it meant saving their children. I thought that was a bunch of bunk. It isn't. You will watch her sleep with her damp hair, cupid lips and rosy cheeks and your breath will catch in your throat. You will kiss her until she protests. You will do the goofiest things to hear her giggle.

And it all goes by very, very quickly. So many people told me to really savour every minute when my kids were babies because those moments are fleeting. I wish I had paid more attention to that advice.

Something tells me that my friend is keenly aware of the gift that is this child and I know that she's going to do just fine.