Heaven on Earth

There are things on this earth that I am convinced have been put here to give us a little preview of heaven. Now I could wax poetic about the fabulous scenery surrounding some ocean bluff or get all saccharine and sentimental about my daughter's silky eyelashes but what I'm talking about are consumer goods, baby.
Just an FYI: I'm not being paid to endorse any of this stuff.


Dove dark chocolate is inexpensive, widely available and lick your fingers good. Useful to chew like Tums during the monthly hormonal week and quite effective as a bribe for sweet toothed children.



This is a Schick Intuition Razor. It will make you weep with gratitude. Wet the razor, wet the hairy site and begin. No burn, no blood and no rust spot because you can toss out that can of smelly raspberry scented shaving cream. It is perfection.


This weekend, I went to my local Sam's Club and for $150, I turned my bed into a sleep wonderland. People had raved to me about memory foam mattresses and toppers so I thought I'd give it a try. This 3" piece of foam is a miracle. I have not slept this soundly since my freshman year philosophy class.


I love having satellite TV and not just because it enabled me to flip the bird to Cox Cable. I love it because it came with a DVR which makes my life so much easier. I spend two seconds telling the box what I want to watch and it goes out every day, finds it, records it and has it waiting for me like a dry martini after work. If the box could take out the garbage, I'd consider marriage. On a really catty note, a high definition signal on a high def TV is completely unforgiving. Be prepared to see stretch marks, wrinkles, acne scars, zits and CELLULITE on your favourite celebrities. It is oddly comforting. Meow.


Ingenious. Fast. Effective. Bonus: the kids want to help with dusting. Helloooo!!

And my personal favourite:


What did we do before these were available? They are right up there with fire, wheels and dishwashers as the greatest inventions EVER!!! I no longer stress when someone says they will be right over. The wipes make it easy to give the appearance of a clean bathroom. One wipe for the counter and sink, one to get the hair off the floor and one for the toilet seat and rim. Pull the shower curtain across and voila, presentable. Don't even get me started on the kitchen.

So there you have it. Sleep, chocolate, cleaning supplies and the Discovery Channel on demand. It's official. I have become my mother.