Rain, rain, go away

Oh the rain.

It's incessant. I suppose that we don't have much to complain about when we compare ourselves with Texas or Kansas but if the sun doesn't come out soon, the crime rate is going to shoot up. Really. One can only go so long without that dose of vitamin D. You slowly lose that common sense compass, you know? I eyeballed my neighbor's paper this morning and seriously thought about making it my own. Sunshine people! We need sunshine!

Of course, it messes with tee times, which under normal circumstances would send me over the edge. But right now, it doesn't matter one hairy bit. I'm over that cliff. I did a big swan dive into mental instability when I woke up this morning and it was STILL effing raining AND my effing ulnar nerve was still compressed.

Then, there are the phone calls from my sweet boy. They go something like this:

"Hi Mum." ..said very softly with a big sigh.

"Hi sweetie. Did you have a good sleep?" I'm deliberately over the top cheerful in an attempt to purposely ignore the tone of his greeting.

"Yeah." ..and then another big sigh. I REFUSE to ask him what might be bothering him.

"Great! Have you had breakfast?" ...can you visualize me on the other end of the phone, staring into a mirror and smiling to make sure that I am projecting just the right level of insanely happy and well-balanced mom?

"Yes. Mom?"

Oh no. Here it comes.

"I'm bored."

It is at this point that my head detaches from my body in a blinding explosion because for the life of me, I cannot understand how a child with:
1000 channels of television
a Playstation (bazillion games)
a Nintendo DS (another bazillion games)
sketch pads, blank journals, crayons
markers, pencil crayons
enough Leggo to build a life size house
a bicycle
a scooter
golf clubs with foam balls and an enormous back yard
books and
neighbors HIS AGE

possibly cannot find something to keep him occupied.

When I was growing up (just after running water and electricity became available), we were like mini McGuyvers. All we needed for hours of unsupervised play was a stick, some sand or dirt and a few stones. We begged to stay out just ten minutes longer. On rainy days, we would gather at someone's house and send some lovely Stepford mother (not mine..she was too busy burning her bra) into the Koolaid and grilled cheese abyss.

So, being the excellent mother that I am, I tell my son that if he finds something to occupy himself for the next little while, I promise to take him and his sister to Canada for Christmas.

"We will have lots of family time and it will be really great. Okay sweetie? You can think about the trip when you are bored and it will cheer you up."

I hang up and wonder what the hell just happened.

Ah yes, the rain.

Well, now it is official. The commons sense compass has definitively gone south.